Bitches

A blog has got nothing to do with anybody..AT ALL.not to confront people, not make people believe in anything...its just a simple diary that people can type whatever they feel like it( a voice out).. No one's being force to read one person's blog..but if he or she did find her name in one's blog..she/he herself/himself is being dumb..so who is being stupid? The one that blogged it? Or the one that stupidly looked in the bloggers blog? Use some common sense..By the way, no one ever said it was important at all...The stupidest of all is..why feel sad when he/she never did it..and in the end feels that it doesnt matter at all..it SHOULD really matter not abit at all even whatever any says if he/she did not do it....surely he/she has some common sense..

Only Human

After all the hardship we been through
After all the happiniess we had together
Friends that had been together
Eating, fighting, arguing and playing...
Eventually, we are bonded together
You, I loved
And I, your loved
We all lived in peace and prosperity
Fights and quarrelments
Fades off eventually
Our bond
Binds us even stronger
All the miracle that happened
Let us believe
Everything..
That we are
Only Human...
With all the loves that binds each and everyone together..
'Cause we are
Only Human..
Stay strong and live on
Even if there is no tomorrow
Love the next second for being there
Even if there is an end to life
Love the beginning of a new born to the light
Even if laugther fades
Love the smiles that had been there
After all, we are
Only Human

No why, just this..

Hm..it's been so long since I really blogged. So many things in my mind, let's start with music then. I've decided to pursue my studies in Classical scene and not the Oriental. Many reasons. Many stories behind them- Bad ones. It's kind of stupid sometimes. Everyone is literally killing each other bit by bit. Not saying that I wasn't a bitch, but some are really crazy over being one. Just wanting to get you out of the 'stage' to keep themselves safe. Seriously, I think I only have 2 people I can really talk to- Wei Kang and Jing Xuan. Others, I really don't know who you people are or what you people want. Not saying Oriental stuffs' no good but taking it as leisure isn't that bad after all..Maybe its 'cause of Pipa. An instrument being so challenging, people learning it yearns to master it and hope to be the few best in Singapore or even further(if possible). Whatever it is. I feel happier now, without all these nonsense. Xueqi- till today, I still don't think you're someone THAT simple. Your positive character may trick others, but...don't use it on me. Michelle- I got nothing to say about you, you're not the worse nor the best. 'Cause you just brings your masks everywhere you go. Rachel(erhu)- You're just a fat bitch and hell you go with your boobs you butch. You can get whoever to come confront what I said for whatever I care. You make me puke, bitch. Kenny- Either you stay out of my life or I'll get into yours. Don't turn me into a bitch 'cause I'll be a VERY nasty one...
Lend my Pipa to Weikang few days back, he needed it for NAC Competition. I haven't been playing it for quite sometime, I hope he won't get disqualified due to my pipa(i'll be damn guilty). Oh well, best of luck to things you do. By the way, I think Weikang is a more tolerant person than I am. So people thinking that he is a whatever kinda person. I might be worse.
Jing Xuan is competing in NAC too..someone I once fell in love with before..haha...out of the point. Anyway, play well and get into finals ya? And did I mention you're getting prettier? Haha, I mean it(= -Hugs.
After taking lessons again with Luo Biao, was playing Schindler's List and we realised that my right hand's better than my left( have to do more finger excercises). He says its better cause majority of the violinist/violist doesnt have as much energy on the right hand even for those with Dips. And he said my vibrato has gone deeper, I was delighted(= Was playin Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto in D at home. I realise 3rd movement is easier than 1st movement(like wth?) Gonna practice with more with Belinda next week. Maybe Paganini? Haha. If only we could. Violin's fun, but too many people in Singapore playing it, real good. So I'm gonna major myself with viola. Yang lao shi said that there's Singapore Philharmonic Orchestra(Only heard of Singapore Phil. Winds) and she's asking me to join. I'll see if I have the time for it.
Lastly, I hope everything in my life is settling down now. I don't wanna go on an endless sea. Its tiring and meaningless. Everybody should be loved(=..Hope the new people i meet are really friends.

Everything is nonsense, almost.

From today onwards, i will not get even an inch for friends anymore.

為我好

无条件为你; 为你坚强就不怕牺牲
爱.....真的需要勇气
爱上你的全部, 放弃我的全部
爱上了你之后, 我开始领悟
陪你走了一段最唯美的国度
3 years?
5 years?
....10 years?
I will wait for you
'Cause I love you
Have faith in the both of us
My distant promise

Be Gone

Things with you have been brought to the back of me
You are officially out of my life
A new chapter shall begin from now, without you interfering it
Be gone.
You are you
And I shall be myself
At least not with you.
Goodbye.

Thoughts

Thoughts
You said you don't want to think anymore
Don't think then
I don't want to think anymore
Teach me to
Time flows and scarred my life
To see with light
Or to fade into the dark
Is it not true?
Forget me not
Erase me
From 'Time'
Memories.
Worthy of a fortune
A gil it may worth
Look within
What do you see
Nothing
Everything was empty to beginn with
Memories
Simply
Worthless

Nil

Met up with Alvin recently , an old friend of mine. Had a very good chat with him at his place. He loves my new pierced ear. He said now i look so hot, he might as well fall in love with me. I kept quiet. His mom still makes superb dumplings for me!=p..He said I live for one purpose, to play music. I said he live for a purpose, to enjoy life, haha...Alvin is right, he says that I am awake, yet I dream. True...Maybe I really live for one purpose, but to play music?-definately not my first perspective..Awake to see you, dream to see magic. That's what he said.
Going to JB for a small invited rectial at a certain high school this coming Wednesday with Mei Lin and Jerad, the pianist and cellist. Performing Mozart's I-Allegro Con Spirito, II-Andante Con Espressione and III-Rondo: Allegro. After the recital, they are most probably gonna head home*Both are malaysians* and I will most likely go further like central of M'sia for a little vacation myself. Francis complains that he can't go..oh well..another time i guess... If he awakens from his dreams, everything will stop moving forward. -Dreaming from reality, awakening from his dreams-

Stay

The moon..The beach..The memories...I shall bury them somewhere and bring myself away from this magic land...Still, I love you. Never stopped loving.

Saviour; Reaper

Crimson lights
The sky
The birds still asleep
Like a dream
It shines
From heaven’s safe key
Children souls
I saw
As soft as the breeze
I call all these prays to the sky
Just as to see your face
I carry these memories inside
Thoughts of the soul
Coloured by light
See me grow wings and fly high
As the cloud dance
In the blue sky
Watching me
Watching you
Silent black
The door
And time tell its tale
Darken blood
It flows
The eden’s riverstream
Look within
The dark
As deep as my scar
There inside
Destruction you see
In the midst of the sky
My soul scattered
So is my dream
See me disperse and vanish
As the cloud gathers
In the blue sky
Watching me
Watching you

1000 Words

Days passing by, still thinking of you. Of those words you told me, the days where you spent with me, the event we took togther. Without you, everything around me seems to quiet down alot. Or maybe I can't hear much. There are many places i wanted to go with you, to do with you. Changes are not to be made, I'm still gonna go to those places. But alone. I saw the beautiful sunset again this evening. I remembered your smile. Your eyes. Your voice. The Hymn of J'saed. You are the one whom thy seek. For whose heart thy seeks shall be settled down securely by thee. Flying at will or not. I will turn myself becoming your sacrification. With the string tying you up I shall be the blade that will help you free. At your will to fly i shall become your prey as you would never worry about hunger. -Just For You.-

The Hymn of Fayth

The Hymn of Fayth, Do you hear them? These voices they hum, like the rays of light piercing through everyone's heart. Singing with hope, yet with sad depression. The Hymn of Fayth, Do you hear them? Out from everyone's sorrow they come from, praying for their sending. The Hymn of Fayth, Hear them not. They still remain the same. Sad, Sorrowful, Grieved, Helpless.
The Hymn of Fayth, I hear them. I am The Hymn of Fayth.

You are..

Missing you deeply. You left. But I still yearn for your return. Here I stand, praying for you. Looking at you from within. I never stopped loving you. The everyday with you. I never forget. Never will I want to. I'm just so souless now. I am leaving as soon as i can. I...can't find the meaning of living...the meaning of love anymore...Bright moon, sad. Shimmering stars, fatigue.

Leave;Left

That night. Your left me. I guessed you really did. I feelings were never false. True to you all this while, even now. Never changed abit. You're leaving me. You left me. Guess it's time for me to leave too. All this while, you are the reason I stayed. But now, nothing is important anymore. I'm leaving this place. This place where dreams once came true. Where love exist forever, I thought. Maybe you're right. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm leaving this place. I loved you, and will still be. You are my one and only. I once said it. Never will I forget it.'Cause I mean it. Goodbye. I love you.

How deep is yous love

How deep is your love....In a world of fools...We belong to you and me..That is all I want.Nothing much at all.

Dark Waltz

Airy. Quiet. The music starts to fill up the emptiness of the ballroom. Dark music. Dark atmosphere. Spirits of the unrest rose once again, got together and danced once again like they did in the past. The moon still shining that brigthly like before, the 'Dark Waltz' starts to fill the air. My heart, felt the airy yet occupied. Dancing the waltz from one to another, I got lost in this crowd of souls and spirits. I realised i could not find my soul. I'm but an empty shell with almost nothing left inside. The music continued yet i hear nothing but silence. The rythm of steps given from the spirits yet i felt no upbeat from anywhere. I am all alone?..Or am I not? Let the Dark Waltz in me start to play. Never let me go.

你的眼睛

当昨天的往事已经编成故事这并不是终点当昨天的痛苦结束好想再看见你的眼睛最亮的星星 黑暗中就会出现一路上 因为你带我走过 漆黑 深夜教我懂得珍惜 平凡千变万变的世界只有你的眼睛最真纷纷扬扬 看不清明天是你给我带来平静不知不觉中 依靠紧紧抱住每一秒钟你的眼睛能 为我 流泪我的心 不孤单

Rain..

Nothing much at all today...Was raining..Should justrain continuosly for a week...Just rain..

Wedding..Congrats.

Attended Cousin Eric's wedding dinner today at Changi Family Court. Its a very romantic place to share your joy with your loves ones. A place that I would want to spend my everyday there. A place with no noise, no crowd, no pain. I think I will spend my there from now on whenever i have that time. I would want to spend the days with you. Nothing more. Just catching the sunsets with you. Thats all. Anyway, congrats to my dearest cousin, Eric, and his beloved wife, Angeline. May god bless you always.

One Life, Live it.

One life, live it. I don't know whether should i say. I don't know how to trust you. Or should i say, how are you going to make me gain trust again. I have changed so much for you. Perhaps its a getback of what i use to do. Its so...cold...A life. So be it...

Only Human

Man saving lives. Saving them with their ever inborn abilities. Pressuming that they are at advantage of doing things incredible. Saving lives. Creating Miracles. Making the impossibles. Made believe the most ridiculous. After all this yes and no, they are still eventually mere human. So what's there to argue about?

Crap

Went to Qin's today and..everything was just crap...real crap..got myself a new violin student though..(=Not in the mood to do almost everything..Haven't been in the mood for doing anything lately...Just...whatever...Crap.

I want to keep very quiet

The violnist today wants to get soft...just soft...and softer..and softer..shhhh...he should just stop talking for a few days or even more...just...keep quiet...I just want to live in my own world these few days onwards...

Shots

Today was quite fun..went to VCH to take some shots...here are the shots...Nothing...thinking quite abit..or maybe just too much..

Forever.

If I were to have a forever with you, would you want it? Would you believe that its forever? My heart has settled down already. It is really foolish of what I did in the past. To love you, to be with you, even to protect you. If loving you is really the biggest sin. Then i rather not be an angel. So many dreams about you. Dreaming, hoping, thinking and loving. The sky is so blue today. Its quite sometime i take notice of the sky and the surroundings. Flowers bloom, flowers wither. Forever....I Love You.

Overwhelmed.

Fear caused us so much distant between each other
So much negatives thoughts
So many things to keep out
Yet so many things to be aware of
Maybe its really true that many things don't matters anymore
Maybe its really true that things that we thought as if it matters so much actually doesn't even weigh heavier than a feather
Yet
There is someone in me
Overwhelmed me
The love that you gave me
Brought me into another heaven
Your forever made me ever strong
Your true and pure love brought us closer than before
Never leaving you is more than possible
Ever leaving you is more than being ridiculous
With you around
Nothing will matter
Just a Forever will do
No more
Just a Forever.

'Adultery'

I use to believe 'Forever' . Therefore i changed so much..In the past, everything that I had done for you...I felt worhtwhile as I ever did wrong to made you distrust me...Inside me, I'm always telling myself that its ok! I did wrong at first, so I'm at not right to be angry and all...But after knowing that u committed adultery, I start to wonder...should I be the one you should worry for, or are you the one that i should be worried for...You committed not only once but twice...Its an ultimate betrayal...If I were to describe my hatred for this kind of betrayal, it would be like how Satan hated the fact when Jesus was being crucified..To think that I will commit such fatal 'crime', it will be a joke..But you did, and...I....If you know you wil commit adultery in future , tell me now..at least I will feel better...Better than 10 knives stabbed into my heart...I want a Forever, but not with even one of these 'crime'...You wanted a Forever yourself before, yet you commit such 'crime', twice. And you tell me about a lifetime's partner?..Will you ever commit adultery again?..I don't know...Like what you said, the future is unknown..But please, please tell me now if you know you are gonna commit such unforgivable 'mistake'...I rather not have a Forever like that...

DreamsII..

I had a dream yesterday..:

I was walking alone by the bay silently...

I heard a voice from somewhere...

A familiar voice...

That voice i missed alot...

I began to follow after that voice...

I ran everywhere to search for it...

From place to place...

Places where I first heard this voice...

To places where I last got abandoned by it...

But I can't seem to reach it...

I was scared..

Terrified...

Helpless...

Am I really being abandoned?...

I cried...

I can't find you...

The sunsets...

I walked back to the bay helplessly...

I heard that voice again...

Then I saw a man's figure...

I took a step closer...

I saw...you...

I burst into tears...

Hugged you..

You never left me...

Ever since before...

I was speechless...

Please...

Don't ever leave me again...

I will never want to leave you again...

Speechless

Glad...

Happy..

Content...

Fortunate..

I got my so called Valentine's present...

I'm felt heaven...

Thank you..

Love you...

Speechless

Glad...

Happy..

Content...

Fortunate..

I got my so called Valentine's present...

I felt heaven...

Thank you..

Love you...

Sauve
Romantic
Attractive
Observant
Loves to joke
Easily jealous
Easily angered
Learns to relax
Loves to dream
Thirsty for praise
Loving and caring
Brave and fearless
Extraordinary spirit
Careful and cautious
Independent thoughts
Angry when provoked
Loves to make friends
Sensitive but not petty
Too generous and egoistic
Takes high pride of oneself
Loves to lead and to be led
Thinks quickly and rationally
Knows how to console others
Poor resistance against illnesses
Firm and has leadership qualities
Talented in the arts, music and self defense

To Where You

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear
Deep in the stillness I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are my
Forever love
And you are watching over me
From up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far to where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away I cherish all you gave me
Everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me
From up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on
And never leave

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight
To see you smile If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Emptiness

Its raining today...

I started pondering over many things..

Mainly over you...

Thinking how you felt about me..

Do I mean something to you...

Do I stand a place in your heart...

What am I to you...

Am I an ignorant kid to you...

Or am I just a passer by in your life that will soon to be forgotten..

Yes...I ponder over such problems frequently..

The more closer we get...

The more I feel that we are gonna part soon...

My love to you had become much more greater than before...

But I doubt you do love me....

Maybe I'm someone that you don't really bother much of..

An annoying kid that is always irritating you...

Always finding troubles for you...

I don't know...

I just lost again...

Stuck...

...Paranoid...

You are cute

Hm..i don't really have a nice intro to start with..

Weeks passed..I felt more closer to you already...

Seeing you doing certain things made me feel sometimes happy and sad?

I like to take transport with you...

'Cause that is the time where i could get rather close intact with you...

You really felt so warm...

I seriuosly like you alot...

But sometimes...you really made me feel like ignoring you...

But I thinkin you're simply too lovely and cute to be with..

Bah..haha...I would wanna spend my time with ya forever..

DotzZzZ..

Bottom line is I love you...

Have good night rest..

Outrageous

I think I have tolerated enough of you..

Presents that WE bought for our friend, MY good friend...

And you just tell me..you bloody hell used that gift I was about to give to others?

I don't know what kind of shit are you...Ho Ying Sian

YOU are the one always using people around you...

Until when others get into trouble..

Your fucked yourself away like you don't know anything...

I had rather you go to hell man..

Your attitude really sucks you know..

You've fucking shit pissed me off...

To the core I tell ya..

I am totally fucking speechless now....

You can really go to hell...

Next time, if you have any troubles...

I swear, I will just leave you to die...

Just get out of sight..

Just simply get lost...

You suck!...

Point of No Return..Lamp of Hope

I found out something...

In the past...

I wished and pray hard that you are...

And for this..

It gave me lots of thoughts...

But now..

You are...

And I rather your are not...

Please..

Turn back...

For the sake of your family...

For the sake of your love ones...

Turn back..

Before you end up like me...

Please...

Turn back...

It maybe right...

It maybe wrong...

But..

No matter what...

Please..

Please turn back..

Before anything happens..

I love you..

I love you so much that I don't want to see this happen..

Please...

Turn back...