Evolution???

Today i decided to meet up a few of my friends so as to catch up with each other...

Throughout the meeting, I realised that they changed alot.

Not physically but mentally..

Or maybe,

I am the one that never changed at all..

Human is amazing to a certain extent actually..

How they stay and never change for life..maybe

And how the rest keep on track with the world's latest information..

Human can be fast and that's godspeed

Huamn can also be slow and that's really decades

For me..

I think I should just vanish away from wherever I belong..I don't even know where is that

Maybe..this will be the best for me..

Dreams..

I had the weirdest dream last night..

In that dream, i cried throughout everything..

Even nothing happened, only of my exschoolmate came talking to me and i started bursting into tears..

This dream is weird but, i could really felt it.

That pain, that sorrow..

I could feel the tears in my dream..

In my dream, I saw the seashore.

It was way below me..

Within sight, beyond reach..

I saw sunset..

I felt you..

Maybe, perhaps..

In that dream of mine,

I'm searching for you...

But i failed or whatever...

Should I know that what is this dream about,

I would choose not to wake up...

And dream forever till I find you..

At least I could be with you..

...In my dreams..

Yong Gan

Hei an zhong
Ji jing shen chu de shuang shou
Bing leng de kong qi xiang huo
Hai pa you shou shou
Lu tai yuan
Shui de yan shen yong yuan
Mang mu gen ni yi qi zou
Zen yang cai hui dong
Ji yi li
Ai yi gai zong shi wen rou
You le zhe yi qie cai neng bu ba hei ye
Shi wo yong gan tai jiu
Jue ding wei ni yi ge ren er huo
Bu neng shuo chu kou
Na me zhe mo
Yong gan le tai jiu
Chen shi chong man duan zhan de yan huo
Wu chu duo
Zhao liang le chen mo
Ming bai shi ji mo
Shui shuo guo
Ai hui rang ren bu zi you
Suo yi ni yao wo deng hou
Huan ni de zhui qiu
You tai duo
Kuai le zi si zuo jie kou
Ni rang wo zui hou ba xin tong dang yong you
Shi wo yong gan tai jiu
Jue ding wei ni yi ge ren er huo
Bu neng shuo chu kou
Na me zhe mo
Yong gan le tai jiu
Chen shi chong man duan zhan de yan huo
Wu chu duo
Zhao liang le chen mo
Ming bai shi ji mo
Ye tai hei Kan bu jian
Ni zai wo shen bian
Xin shang bei lei shui shi qu fang bei
Shi wo yong gan tai jiu
Jue ding wei ni yi ge ren er huo
Bu neng shuo chu kou
Na me zhe mo
Yong gan le tai jiu
Chen shi chong man duan zhan de yan huo
Wu chu duo
Zhao liang le chen mo
Ai yuan lai ji mo

Sorry

Sorry that i cant tell you what had happened..

Maybe i will tell you later

Please don't be angry with me

I didnt mean to hide from you

Please understand..

I'm feeling confused right now..

I don't know what i wanna type...

I just don't...

Don't leave me alone...

Where are you..

I haven't seen you for a very, very long time...

At least to me, its a very, very long time...

I'll be waiting...

Its been a really long time from i last saw you...

At least to me its really a long time already...

Maybe you heard from others the things i did...

I have got nothing to say regarding to that...

But not seeing you made me felt really very pain from deep inside my heart...

I'm feeling very, very terrible...

I just hope that you could talk to me and treat me like before...

Don't abandon me..

I can't go on without you...

You are the one im always searching for...

You're the one i've loved all the long...

Sorry to Weiling

Sometimes..people shouldn't believed in gossips too much

Sadly, i did it..i actually believed the gossip and kept it on going..

Maybe i'm just too dumb to actually join in the 'trend' and gossiped around..

I'm glad that she forgaved me...

But still..i would be guilty...

I had the choice not to listen to the gossip and totally forget about it..

But i did not..

Instead, i go on with it..

Maybe i should just keep away from such stuffs...

Or maybe people should just abandon me and leave me alone...

Maybe this will do others good...

I just hope that i did not hurt her too deeply...

Through this blog, i here by a an official apologisation to

Weiling...

I'm sorry for what i had done to you...

I don't know whether you know who is the one that let me knew all this...

But if you really do know who..

Please don't hate that person..

I'm actually at no right to ask for anything..

But..please don't hate that person...

Embraced

Let your arms enfold me

Through the dark of the night

Never part me

Till we see the light

Can you feel

The feeling embraced around you

My feelings embraced around you

Never leave me alone

I want to have you by my side when we are at the 'light'

Who am i lying to..

Who am i decieving..

Who...

Why is pace your always so fast...

So fast that i could not catch up...

I want to catch up..

I really want to..

But you never thought of me..

I'm just decieving myself

A big thank to you

I'm feeling much, much better now..

The things you told me...

You enlightened me alot...

I put my up most respect to you...

So far, you are the only one that made me realise alot of things..

You are really like a brother to me...

And i treat you like my own brother...

A big thank you to you...

Without you, maybe i would still be in no way...

I promise you i won't waste my time off starting from next year...

I will strive real hard...

Thank you..

Brother..

Fated to be

Guess i'm lost again..

I get depress easily..maybe?

Sometimes..

I tell people certain things or problems about me...

Doesn't mean that i am in need for help..

I just wanna voice out myself...

I just need someone to listen...

I don't need advices 'cause eventually i will still follow myself..

I know some of them are really trying to help me..

But i just can't..

Maybe what i really want to see is that there will be this person...

He/she will stand on my side and tel me to go for it...

Don't give the person i loved so deeply up so easily...

No matter how long i have to wait, i will..

Till now, there isn't anyone that told me something like this...

What i only get is...

Give that person up..

That person is not worth for me to do so much...

I just don't understand...

How do you know that person doesn't worth that much to me...

Sigh...

I am just fated to be like this..

In this pathetic state i'm in...

I hope you know who i'm referring to..

Or maybe you don't know i truly loves you...

Well...

I guessed you already knew it long ago...

I'm just a piece of crap...

Very sorry...

Today was CRAP for me...i had to play a composition of Dedric's piece for his exams. And i flopped one or mayb two of the most obvious parts!...WTF..maybe i get distracted to easily..or i juz suc..WTF WTF WTF...haiz...not really bothered by how his classmates but the EXAMNIER!...[i'm speechless]..I'm sorry)'=..but its kinda funny when Dedric introduced me in front of his classmates and examiner(s)...haiz...but there are very nice compositions i heard from other students...thats all...i need time to wake my idea up!

Darkness

Why...

Why did i chose to know you..

Why did i decided it to be you...

Why did i devote so much to you..

Why did you stepped to my life so easily..

Why did i opened my door to you so easily...

Just why...

Everything around me now is confusing...

I can't think properly...

I have thought of many possibilities...

But the impact is just too great for me..

I need you..

I doubt you ever realised it...

Were you ever touched by me...

You are one that truly devoted too much...

Too much till i can't do anything....

You treated me in such cold attitude..

I felt being abandoned...

Thrown into darkness once agan...

What can i do...

What will i wish for...

To make you realise...

I love you...

Sky

Sky moved...

Clouds stilled...

Red over the Dark...

Dark surrounded by the Red...

Rain drops...

I am moved...

Distant PromiseII

Seeing you makes me feel relief...

Seeing you makes me feel relaxed...

Memories inside you...

Made me feel distance from you...

But i like being with you...

I like going out with you...

I like walking beside with you...

I like to spend my every single second with you...

I might not understand your pain that your memories brought you...

But i will be here to go through with you...

Its a distant promise i made...

And never will i break this promise...

Seasons come and go...

Thou shall not change its love for thee...

what the hell

You are stupid
Why don't you understand
Don't you get it
You made me kinda pissed
Cause you mean to me
I mean it
I don't know what to say
I just wanna voice out
Stop feigning ingorance already
I can't take it
Anymore

Where am i leading to?

Well...
How am i gonna start...
Though everything seems going fine now...
But i'm still feeling very troubled...
Maybe i am not confident for myself....
I'm very afraid of losing another person again....
I dare not do anything...
Do anything to improve our situation to a better stage...
I'm afraid i might worsen the situation...
I do not know what can i do...
I do not know what am i supposed to do...
Maybe im always lost...
Always...
What am i...
I don't know...
Hiding myself...
Again and again...
Is this...
A kinda life i am suppose to lead...
I guess so...
The sky was beautiful...
The sea was nice...
THe sea waves were peaceful...
But...
This were in the past...
Past...

Why...

Some say i should say...
Some say i should not...
Inside me...
I truly wanna let you know...
But i can't put myself through to tell you...
Maybe i am afraid i can't face reality...
I am really useless...
Worthless...
Why ain't i possible to tell you straight to the point...
Everytime...
I see your charming eyes...
Your eyes that gives that lovely gaze...
The more i see you...
The more i feel worthless...
Why can't i juz confess my love to you...
Why...

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I suck

What am i gonna do...
All this crap im facing...
There is you and you...
How am i gonna do...
What can i do...
Fate is playing a joke?..
But i just don't wanna face such problems...
Be it that i'm coward or what so ever..
Why cant' fate let me get to know just you....
I rather let it be that way than this...
Or maybe...
I'm crap...
Not others...
But me...
Maybe i have to leave..
Leave this place i never thought i belong to...
I can't take it...
This pressure...
I...
Am sorry...

You...

Its been a long time since i felt this again...
Is it that I still could not let it go...
Is it that I still could not face reality...
I felt as if I'm greatly under pressure...
I wish you could hear my pain and sorrow...
People say ending lives is an act of stupidity...
Perhaps to me...
Its a kind of realease...
Seeing you makes me feel heavenly...
Seeing you makes me feel living hell...
I really wish to tell everyone who you are...
But I can't...
I just can't...
At least for your sake...
Secretly I looked at you with nobody's notice...
My heart is as if it got stabbed...
Stabbed by countless numbers of sharp objects...
I even dreamt of you few days ago...
I felt even more painful...
Is it just my depression...
Maybe yes...
I would assume so...
For others I may not know...
But I will...
I will wait for you...
Be it twenty years or thirty years...
I will wait for you...