No why, just this..

Hm..it's been so long since I really blogged. So many things in my mind, let's start with music then. I've decided to pursue my studies in Classical scene and not the Oriental. Many reasons. Many stories behind them- Bad ones. It's kind of stupid sometimes. Everyone is literally killing each other bit by bit. Not saying that I wasn't a bitch, but some are really crazy over being one. Just wanting to get you out of the 'stage' to keep themselves safe. Seriously, I think I only have 2 people I can really talk to- Wei Kang and Jing Xuan. Others, I really don't know who you people are or what you people want. Not saying Oriental stuffs' no good but taking it as leisure isn't that bad after all..Maybe its 'cause of Pipa. An instrument being so challenging, people learning it yearns to master it and hope to be the few best in Singapore or even further(if possible). Whatever it is. I feel happier now, without all these nonsense. Xueqi- till today, I still don't think you're someone THAT simple. Your positive character may trick others, but...don't use it on me. Michelle- I got nothing to say about you, you're not the worse nor the best. 'Cause you just brings your masks everywhere you go. Rachel(erhu)- You're just a fat bitch and hell you go with your boobs you butch. You can get whoever to come confront what I said for whatever I care. You make me puke, bitch. Kenny- Either you stay out of my life or I'll get into yours. Don't turn me into a bitch 'cause I'll be a VERY nasty one...
Lend my Pipa to Weikang few days back, he needed it for NAC Competition. I haven't been playing it for quite sometime, I hope he won't get disqualified due to my pipa(i'll be damn guilty). Oh well, best of luck to things you do. By the way, I think Weikang is a more tolerant person than I am. So people thinking that he is a whatever kinda person. I might be worse.
Jing Xuan is competing in NAC too..someone I once fell in love with before..haha...out of the point. Anyway, play well and get into finals ya? And did I mention you're getting prettier? Haha, I mean it(= -Hugs.
After taking lessons again with Luo Biao, was playing Schindler's List and we realised that my right hand's better than my left( have to do more finger excercises). He says its better cause majority of the violinist/violist doesnt have as much energy on the right hand even for those with Dips. And he said my vibrato has gone deeper, I was delighted(= Was playin Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto in D at home. I realise 3rd movement is easier than 1st movement(like wth?) Gonna practice with more with Belinda next week. Maybe Paganini? Haha. If only we could. Violin's fun, but too many people in Singapore playing it, real good. So I'm gonna major myself with viola. Yang lao shi said that there's Singapore Philharmonic Orchestra(Only heard of Singapore Phil. Winds) and she's asking me to join. I'll see if I have the time for it.
Lastly, I hope everything in my life is settling down now. I don't wanna go on an endless sea. Its tiring and meaningless. Everybody should be loved(=..Hope the new people i meet are really friends.

Everything is nonsense, almost.

From today onwards, i will not get even an inch for friends anymore.

為我好

无条件为你; 为你坚强就不怕牺牲
爱.....真的需要勇气
爱上你的全部, 放弃我的全部
爱上了你之后, 我开始领悟
陪你走了一段最唯美的国度
3 years?
5 years?
....10 years?
I will wait for you
'Cause I love you
Have faith in the both of us
My distant promise

Be Gone

Things with you have been brought to the back of me
You are officially out of my life
A new chapter shall begin from now, without you interfering it
Be gone.
You are you
And I shall be myself
At least not with you.
Goodbye.

Thoughts

Thoughts
You said you don't want to think anymore
Don't think then
I don't want to think anymore
Teach me to
Time flows and scarred my life
To see with light
Or to fade into the dark
Is it not true?
Forget me not
Erase me
From 'Time'
Memories.
Worthy of a fortune
A gil it may worth
Look within
What do you see
Nothing
Everything was empty to beginn with
Memories
Simply
Worthless

Nil

Met up with Alvin recently , an old friend of mine. Had a very good chat with him at his place. He loves my new pierced ear. He said now i look so hot, he might as well fall in love with me. I kept quiet. His mom still makes superb dumplings for me!=p..He said I live for one purpose, to play music. I said he live for a purpose, to enjoy life, haha...Alvin is right, he says that I am awake, yet I dream. True...Maybe I really live for one purpose, but to play music?-definately not my first perspective..Awake to see you, dream to see magic. That's what he said.
Going to JB for a small invited rectial at a certain high school this coming Wednesday with Mei Lin and Jerad, the pianist and cellist. Performing Mozart's I-Allegro Con Spirito, II-Andante Con Espressione and III-Rondo: Allegro. After the recital, they are most probably gonna head home*Both are malaysians* and I will most likely go further like central of M'sia for a little vacation myself. Francis complains that he can't go..oh well..another time i guess... If he awakens from his dreams, everything will stop moving forward. -Dreaming from reality, awakening from his dreams-

Stay

The moon..The beach..The memories...I shall bury them somewhere and bring myself away from this magic land...Still, I love you. Never stopped loving.

Saviour; Reaper

Crimson lights
The sky
The birds still asleep
Like a dream
It shines
From heaven’s safe key
Children souls
I saw
As soft as the breeze
I call all these prays to the sky
Just as to see your face
I carry these memories inside
Thoughts of the soul
Coloured by light
See me grow wings and fly high
As the cloud dance
In the blue sky
Watching me
Watching you
Silent black
The door
And time tell its tale
Darken blood
It flows
The eden’s riverstream
Look within
The dark
As deep as my scar
There inside
Destruction you see
In the midst of the sky
My soul scattered
So is my dream
See me disperse and vanish
As the cloud gathers
In the blue sky
Watching me
Watching you

1000 Words

Days passing by, still thinking of you. Of those words you told me, the days where you spent with me, the event we took togther. Without you, everything around me seems to quiet down alot. Or maybe I can't hear much. There are many places i wanted to go with you, to do with you. Changes are not to be made, I'm still gonna go to those places. But alone. I saw the beautiful sunset again this evening. I remembered your smile. Your eyes. Your voice. The Hymn of J'saed. You are the one whom thy seek. For whose heart thy seeks shall be settled down securely by thee. Flying at will or not. I will turn myself becoming your sacrification. With the string tying you up I shall be the blade that will help you free. At your will to fly i shall become your prey as you would never worry about hunger. -Just For You.-

The Hymn of Fayth

The Hymn of Fayth, Do you hear them? These voices they hum, like the rays of light piercing through everyone's heart. Singing with hope, yet with sad depression. The Hymn of Fayth, Do you hear them? Out from everyone's sorrow they come from, praying for their sending. The Hymn of Fayth, Hear them not. They still remain the same. Sad, Sorrowful, Grieved, Helpless.
The Hymn of Fayth, I hear them. I am The Hymn of Fayth.

You are..

Missing you deeply. You left. But I still yearn for your return. Here I stand, praying for you. Looking at you from within. I never stopped loving you. The everyday with you. I never forget. Never will I want to. I'm just so souless now. I am leaving as soon as i can. I...can't find the meaning of living...the meaning of love anymore...Bright moon, sad. Shimmering stars, fatigue.

Leave;Left

That night. Your left me. I guessed you really did. I feelings were never false. True to you all this while, even now. Never changed abit. You're leaving me. You left me. Guess it's time for me to leave too. All this while, you are the reason I stayed. But now, nothing is important anymore. I'm leaving this place. This place where dreams once came true. Where love exist forever, I thought. Maybe you're right. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm leaving this place. I loved you, and will still be. You are my one and only. I once said it. Never will I forget it.'Cause I mean it. Goodbye. I love you.

How deep is yous love

How deep is your love....In a world of fools...We belong to you and me..That is all I want.Nothing much at all.

Dark Waltz

Airy. Quiet. The music starts to fill up the emptiness of the ballroom. Dark music. Dark atmosphere. Spirits of the unrest rose once again, got together and danced once again like they did in the past. The moon still shining that brigthly like before, the 'Dark Waltz' starts to fill the air. My heart, felt the airy yet occupied. Dancing the waltz from one to another, I got lost in this crowd of souls and spirits. I realised i could not find my soul. I'm but an empty shell with almost nothing left inside. The music continued yet i hear nothing but silence. The rythm of steps given from the spirits yet i felt no upbeat from anywhere. I am all alone?..Or am I not? Let the Dark Waltz in me start to play. Never let me go.

你的眼睛

当昨天的往事已经编成故事这并不是终点当昨天的痛苦结束好想再看见你的眼睛最亮的星星 黑暗中就会出现一路上 因为你带我走过 漆黑 深夜教我懂得珍惜 平凡千变万变的世界只有你的眼睛最真纷纷扬扬 看不清明天是你给我带来平静不知不觉中 依靠紧紧抱住每一秒钟你的眼睛能 为我 流泪我的心 不孤单

Rain..

Nothing much at all today...Was raining..Should justrain continuosly for a week...Just rain..

Wedding..Congrats.

Attended Cousin Eric's wedding dinner today at Changi Family Court. Its a very romantic place to share your joy with your loves ones. A place that I would want to spend my everyday there. A place with no noise, no crowd, no pain. I think I will spend my there from now on whenever i have that time. I would want to spend the days with you. Nothing more. Just catching the sunsets with you. Thats all. Anyway, congrats to my dearest cousin, Eric, and his beloved wife, Angeline. May god bless you always.

One Life, Live it.

One life, live it. I don't know whether should i say. I don't know how to trust you. Or should i say, how are you going to make me gain trust again. I have changed so much for you. Perhaps its a getback of what i use to do. Its so...cold...A life. So be it...

Only Human

Man saving lives. Saving them with their ever inborn abilities. Pressuming that they are at advantage of doing things incredible. Saving lives. Creating Miracles. Making the impossibles. Made believe the most ridiculous. After all this yes and no, they are still eventually mere human. So what's there to argue about?

Crap

Went to Qin's today and..everything was just crap...real crap..got myself a new violin student though..(=Not in the mood to do almost everything..Haven't been in the mood for doing anything lately...Just...whatever...Crap.