Only Human

Man saving lives. Saving them with their ever inborn abilities. Pressuming that they are at advantage of doing things incredible. Saving lives. Creating Miracles. Making the impossibles. Made believe the most ridiculous. After all this yes and no, they are still eventually mere human. So what's there to argue about?

Crap

Went to Qin's today and..everything was just crap...real crap..got myself a new violin student though..(=Not in the mood to do almost everything..Haven't been in the mood for doing anything lately...Just...whatever...Crap.

I want to keep very quiet

The violnist today wants to get soft...just soft...and softer..and softer..shhhh...he should just stop talking for a few days or even more...just...keep quiet...I just want to live in my own world these few days onwards...

Shots

Today was quite fun..went to VCH to take some shots...here are the shots...Nothing...thinking quite abit..or maybe just too much..

Forever.

If I were to have a forever with you, would you want it? Would you believe that its forever? My heart has settled down already. It is really foolish of what I did in the past. To love you, to be with you, even to protect you. If loving you is really the biggest sin. Then i rather not be an angel. So many dreams about you. Dreaming, hoping, thinking and loving. The sky is so blue today. Its quite sometime i take notice of the sky and the surroundings. Flowers bloom, flowers wither. Forever....I Love You.

Overwhelmed.

Fear caused us so much distant between each other
So much negatives thoughts
So many things to keep out
Yet so many things to be aware of
Maybe its really true that many things don't matters anymore
Maybe its really true that things that we thought as if it matters so much actually doesn't even weigh heavier than a feather
Yet
There is someone in me
Overwhelmed me
The love that you gave me
Brought me into another heaven
Your forever made me ever strong
Your true and pure love brought us closer than before
Never leaving you is more than possible
Ever leaving you is more than being ridiculous
With you around
Nothing will matter
Just a Forever will do
No more
Just a Forever.

'Adultery'

I use to believe 'Forever' . Therefore i changed so much..In the past, everything that I had done for you...I felt worhtwhile as I ever did wrong to made you distrust me...Inside me, I'm always telling myself that its ok! I did wrong at first, so I'm at not right to be angry and all...But after knowing that u committed adultery, I start to wonder...should I be the one you should worry for, or are you the one that i should be worried for...You committed not only once but twice...Its an ultimate betrayal...If I were to describe my hatred for this kind of betrayal, it would be like how Satan hated the fact when Jesus was being crucified..To think that I will commit such fatal 'crime', it will be a joke..But you did, and...I....If you know you wil commit adultery in future , tell me now..at least I will feel better...Better than 10 knives stabbed into my heart...I want a Forever, but not with even one of these 'crime'...You wanted a Forever yourself before, yet you commit such 'crime', twice. And you tell me about a lifetime's partner?..Will you ever commit adultery again?..I don't know...Like what you said, the future is unknown..But please, please tell me now if you know you are gonna commit such unforgivable 'mistake'...I rather not have a Forever like that...

DreamsII..

I had a dream yesterday..:

I was walking alone by the bay silently...

I heard a voice from somewhere...

A familiar voice...

That voice i missed alot...

I began to follow after that voice...

I ran everywhere to search for it...

From place to place...

Places where I first heard this voice...

To places where I last got abandoned by it...

But I can't seem to reach it...

I was scared..

Terrified...

Helpless...

Am I really being abandoned?...

I cried...

I can't find you...

The sunsets...

I walked back to the bay helplessly...

I heard that voice again...

Then I saw a man's figure...

I took a step closer...

I saw...you...

I burst into tears...

Hugged you..

You never left me...

Ever since before...

I was speechless...

Please...

Don't ever leave me again...

I will never want to leave you again...

Speechless

Glad...

Happy..

Content...

Fortunate..

I got my so called Valentine's present...

I'm felt heaven...

Thank you..

Love you...

Speechless

Glad...

Happy..

Content...

Fortunate..

I got my so called Valentine's present...

I felt heaven...

Thank you..

Love you...

Sauve
Romantic
Attractive
Observant
Loves to joke
Easily jealous
Easily angered
Learns to relax
Loves to dream
Thirsty for praise
Loving and caring
Brave and fearless
Extraordinary spirit
Careful and cautious
Independent thoughts
Angry when provoked
Loves to make friends
Sensitive but not petty
Too generous and egoistic
Takes high pride of oneself
Loves to lead and to be led
Thinks quickly and rationally
Knows how to console others
Poor resistance against illnesses
Firm and has leadership qualities
Talented in the arts, music and self defense

To Where You

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear
Deep in the stillness I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are my
Forever love
And you are watching over me
From up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far to where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away I cherish all you gave me
Everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me
From up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on
And never leave

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight
To see you smile If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Emptiness

Its raining today...

I started pondering over many things..

Mainly over you...

Thinking how you felt about me..

Do I mean something to you...

Do I stand a place in your heart...

What am I to you...

Am I an ignorant kid to you...

Or am I just a passer by in your life that will soon to be forgotten..

Yes...I ponder over such problems frequently..

The more closer we get...

The more I feel that we are gonna part soon...

My love to you had become much more greater than before...

But I doubt you do love me....

Maybe I'm someone that you don't really bother much of..

An annoying kid that is always irritating you...

Always finding troubles for you...

I don't know...

I just lost again...

Stuck...

...Paranoid...

You are cute

Hm..i don't really have a nice intro to start with..

Weeks passed..I felt more closer to you already...

Seeing you doing certain things made me feel sometimes happy and sad?

I like to take transport with you...

'Cause that is the time where i could get rather close intact with you...

You really felt so warm...

I seriuosly like you alot...

But sometimes...you really made me feel like ignoring you...

But I thinkin you're simply too lovely and cute to be with..

Bah..haha...I would wanna spend my time with ya forever..

DotzZzZ..

Bottom line is I love you...

Have good night rest..

Outrageous

I think I have tolerated enough of you..

Presents that WE bought for our friend, MY good friend...

And you just tell me..you bloody hell used that gift I was about to give to others?

I don't know what kind of shit are you...Ho Ying Sian

YOU are the one always using people around you...

Until when others get into trouble..

Your fucked yourself away like you don't know anything...

I had rather you go to hell man..

Your attitude really sucks you know..

You've fucking shit pissed me off...

To the core I tell ya..

I am totally fucking speechless now....

You can really go to hell...

Next time, if you have any troubles...

I swear, I will just leave you to die...

Just get out of sight..

Just simply get lost...

You suck!...

Point of No Return..Lamp of Hope

I found out something...

In the past...

I wished and pray hard that you are...

And for this..

It gave me lots of thoughts...

But now..

You are...

And I rather your are not...

Please..

Turn back...

For the sake of your family...

For the sake of your love ones...

Turn back..

Before you end up like me...

Please...

Turn back...

It maybe right...

It maybe wrong...

But..

No matter what...

Please..

Please turn back..

Before anything happens..

I love you..

I love you so much that I don't want to see this happen..

Please...

Turn back...

Phoebia

Yay..today, or rather yesterday[due to the time] is one of my happiest day in my life..

I went out with my primary school friends..Melissa, all time favourite!!! Yan Min, good friend always...Evelyn, quiet as ever....Pamela, always hitting me:S...Yong Quan, as steady as ever...Clifton, still taller than me:(....
We went seoul garden to eat!!...i ate alot...Melissa claiming that she ate alot and is full end up eating lotsa stuff with me...We talked alot..About things in the present and during pri school life..
Yong Quan is still as deaf as ever...he can't seem to realise that we are calling, machiam like in his own lala land..Pamela...nothing much changed...Yan Min very random..VERY...We were talking about what form molecues and atoms...she replied as saying molecue is bigger than atoms...like HUH?!..doesn't relate to our topic AT ALL!!!...Clifton..eh...I don't really wanna say it..but hope you get your 'inproper' *** checked..talling ya for the sake of a friend since young;)...
Me..Melissa say I'm still like a chatterbox..well, if you didn't realise[i doubt you do] i only talk much with you guys as I feel much more closer to you guys than my Secondary friends..Others see me as a 'foolstop guy'..i always end the topic[-_-]...Haha..
After dinner, we intended to watch movie..but all the movies were left with front seats!!![tragedy:'(]..But we ended up taking a train back home..On the journey back..we talk quite alot of things...like believing in after life, gods, religion...Basically..it is about our feelings towards death...When we reached Pasir Ris, other than Yong Quan and Clifton, the rest of us when Mac to have a rest..And I'm still hungry!!..i bought fries to eat..Evelyn bought drink..Awhile later, we took Bus 3 home...Ended up chatting conference talking about how stupid gangsters are..and how disgusting to do m*st*r*a**o* in the cinema and *r*l *e* in the toilet!!!!...And this is my day...What a day to spend off with my old mates...I love ya guys:D...

Your eyes were so promising, yet so contradicting..

I always wait silently for your return..

And finally, you are back...

But I find myself afraid to see you..

Maybe is due to the period of time..

That cause this phoebia..

Maybe I need time to get back to square one...

I know must do it..

As I love you...

Your eyes..

Your voice..

My feelings towards you...

Its totally undescribable...

Perhaps, this is what love is...

At least to me..

It is like what it seems to be...

Questions

Its Christmas Eve...

Again, I'm having tons of blahx3 going round in my head...

Sometimes...maybe most of the times...

People that seems to be rather close to you...

Are they there by your side to go through up and down with you?..

Or are they there by your side to understand you, then tell off all your secrets and things you ever said to anyone/everyone in order to make you feel embarrassed in front of others?..

Or even make use of you..e.g. being close to you so when he/she is in trouble but when you're in trouble, he/she just happen to be missing?...

That's not the end, some of 'em are being close to you just to show others that how caring he/she could be when you yourself knows how much she even bothers about you..

I'm feeling like that 'cause these possibilities/facts are happening on me...

I have my reasons not to name those out..

But if you people know who you are...

Then jolly well change for the sake of friendship...

Or you can just simply leave me alone and go away..

Don't tell me sorry..

Not because a good friend never should say sorry to the other...

But saying sorry now doesn't make any difference..

The main purpose for apologising is to make the victim feel less hurt...

And allowing the culprit/s to feel less guilty...

If that's the case, then why commit such fatal 'crime' to your good friend/buddy?...

Of course I don't exclude myself...

At least..I never do such things to my good friends/buddies..

At the end, I always end up speechless..

Why?..

'Cause I'm not one that will go and wake those that have mistreated me to wake up..

I'm not that sort of 'saint'..

They will cherish and treasure this relationship ONLY if they find out and realise it themselves..

That's all for today ..

-Merry Christmas- ......................in advanced=)

Snow

My days in China had ended..

Through this vacation..

I seen quite a number of incidents..

I learnt quite alot of things...

Be it in terms of music or character...

I realised that people from different places treat each other differently...

The people I met are all very, very warmhearted..

Anyway, I'm alone in Europe now..

The snow is beautiful..

Somehow, it gives me the feel of purity

Yet sorrow, despair and helpless..

Hope I could think over certain problems Im having..

Every now and then...Im still thinking of you..

You are so precious to me...

I miss you...

I....

What A Day

Last night after my syco reseating exams,

I went out with my friend, grace..

We went to Billy Bompers..

I oredered roast chicken but i kinda regretted it...

Cos' its simply hard to slice!..

Grace ordered my fav., Airlion Steak!!!

At first she was still thinking how well she wanted the beef to be done..

Then i told the waitress to give her RAW!..wahaha

But overall the meal was nice...

We bitched and gossip alot of people in our K1, K2 and primary school days!

Then sitting opposite us,

There is this American professional guitarist...

He kept staring at my pipa wondering whats that...

And i explained to him in detailed..

He was amzed and felt EXTREMELY strange about pipa..

Especially its tuning..[A E D A]

So i replied him..

'Its weird, but it sure rocks!!!'

When we are about to leave,

A lady came to me and gave me a $5.00 voucher for billy bompers

And i was like..co0l!..

The U.P. for dinner was $43.00+++

But in the end..it turned out to be $38.77!!!

Which means we are payin less than $20 each!!..

I rock~

Thats not all, afterwards

They have a lucky draw thing..

Grace and I each drew one..

And i got myself a meal with shake at only $5.00!!!

I rock man!!!

Haha..after the dinner,

Grace and I went to food junction and I ordered a pure lemon juice..

No dilution in it...No added sugar nor water..NOTHING..

They say its sour..But i never felt that sourness at all..

And those stall owner always give me that look as if I'm taking in some sulphate acid

Or something worse?!

While walking around..

I saw someone the least i would ever expect to see

Melissa!!!My primary rock buddy

She rocks man!!!...

She was the joker of PRPS...

I lost contact with her..

And who would know that I'm the FIRST to reached among the others!

Today was definately my day!!wahaha

Its been quite awhile since i ever felt like this...

But ...after all happy occasions..

I will still be back to square one eventually..

Maybe i really cannot survive without you by my side..

Maybe I'm being too bastard or whatever..

Why did you just leave me suddenly...

I still can't get over it...

I can’t believe -- a month ago

I was alone -- I didn’t know you

I hadn't seen, or heard your name

And even now, I’m so amazed it's like a dream

It's like a rainbow, it's like the rain

Some things are the way they are

And words just can’t explain

I never saw blue like that before

Across the sky, around the world

And just like a dream

You left me with no thoughts

I ...am feeling really very

Terrible, seriously in pain..

Dell'Amore Non Si Sa