Blind day it is...

Dear Monster,

How was your day? Mine was rather rough today. I went to get eye screening.
When I got there, the nurse asked me to get some solution into my eyes every 3-5mins to get them diluted before the X-ray. The first drop was painful! It burnt my eyes, literally. And I had to go on for a few times. After the test, my eyes felt like it was covered with a layer of blurred solution, everything was blur! I then walked out of the clinic and hurried back in because the sun was hurting my eyes a lot! Probably something got to do with the solution, it takes away your natural fluid in your eyes and made them very exposed to UV rays. I was so scared then, I was nauseous and covering eyes while walking. I was 65% blind and I wished I could talk to you on the phone to make me feel better or thinking of holding your hands. Thinking of you alone made it feel better and I braved the piercing sunlight, took a cab and went to teach.
Kendra, my trainer's daughter, she is very annoying today! Everything I got her to do, she refuses. I had a nice conversation with my trainer. We talked about horses, dogs, her children and music.
After that, I went home and I called up AFA and I am gonna volunteer for them! I hope I can use the strength I got from you and my best friends and give the people with HIV a home in spirit from me. You all have given me strength, and I will put thisin to good use!
In the evening, I brought Junior down while cycling. It was fun, he was running in front of me while I was taking my pace. Went to Pei Ying's place and helped her pack her room and tidy things up.
I was glad that I met up with the girls last night, from that, I realise they each have their deepest sorrows that they don't share to others except me. And I am gonna use this 'new' strength of mine to heal them.
You are in my heart and I see you.

Loving you, truly
Baby Raymond

Far!

Dear Nicholas,

How was your day? I hope it was fulfilling because mine was!
I went to Kranji, it was a crazy journey- I took bus 39 to seletar camp and changed to 168, but I took the wrong 168 and it went back to IKEA! I had to then cross over to the right 168 and take the dreadful journey to Woodlands and from there, I took 961 to the riding centre.
The riding centre was nice, it is very clean- they have locker rooms for riders to hang their stuff! From the school, I met 2 girls, Daphne and Morine, they use to learn riding from Gallop Stable, and they told me why they decided to leave for SG Turf Club Riding Centre was because of the management.
During the group assessment, I was given a horse named Jonas to ride on, he is one lazy horse according to the trainer. (Reminds me of Rina) It wasn't as bad as I thought, I did trots and that's about it. I was placed into Novice 2, it's okay, I will work hard and get into their National team!
After which, I had a chat with Daphne and Morine and Daphne offered to drive me to Little India so it will be easier to go back to Pasir Ris. On the journey, I learnt tat she actually volunteers at the Riding School for the Disabled! So I've asked to volunteer and the chances are high!
After she dropped me off, I took a cab back to Pasir Ris and met Yan Min, Melissa, Sheeren, Pei Ying and Grace for dinner and a chat. We helped Mel do her survey, something got to do with her assignment. Then I told all of them about my status, about what happened between us and what I have done wrong and I learning to be stronger and waiting for you to come home, of course. They were all very supportive of it and they will help me, guide me into a stronger and positive person and I will become the person that my heart is meant to be and my mind, my thinking and my moral code will all be in sync!
Alright, it's getting late and I need to sleep!
Goodnight Monster!

Missing you
Baby Raymond

A brand new day!

Dear Nicholas,

Hope your day was good! I was so tired yesterday that I slept from evening till now!
I was happy that I got to talk to Adeline on skype earlier this morning! She is doing great in Arizona now, but she says life is boring there, maybe because there's no ocean! She is desperately learning to speak Mandarin because her boyfriend's parents doesn't speak English! And she was swearing that its karma 'cause she dropped the language since 10!
Grace is enjoying herself alone at home, her folks went to Melbourne for a week and she finally gets the rest according to her! I still think its a pity to that she doesn't pursue a career that relates to what she'd learnt. But I guess she's comfortable working in Prudential for now!
And for me, I am finally going to Kranji for lessons from today onwards! I am still going back to Gallop Stable, but just to visit Rina and Sexy Girl because I am sure they miss me alot!
Nicholas came over to my place yesterday and we had a long chat, he told me a lot of things, guided me a few too. I heard from him that Kenny has learned of my status from you. For that, you have my gratitude, it changed him in that perspective alot. The way he views life and death, or life in death etc.
Alright, I am going out for a run now, will talk to you the next day!

With love,
Baby Raymond

Peaceful Nightts

Hi Nicholas,

It was nice seeing you, talking on the phone, walking around from your room to the other. I have to that it was freezing cold out there! I saw Uen and he saw me but we didn't talk because we were a distant away from each other and I am sure you've already knew about it. I didn't know that Perth has so much mosquitoes at night, they were biting me like crazy! Anyway, all I want to say is that I was praying so hard to get a chance to just see you, and I did! For that, I am happy. I am still learning to become stronger and you will get to see that day! I left because I didn't want to stop you from going out with your friends and get yourself stuck at home. I hope you were at least a little happy about seeing me! Even if it was just a short 10sec, it felt long for me, but definitely not enough. But it's okay! I will wait for you.

P.S.
I love you, and it's unconditional this time

Your
Baby Raymond.

Seclusion

The rain is so gloomy these days
Fogging the path in front
I don't see what is going on
I am sad
And all I can think of is
Leave me alone
I wish I will be in a place where nobody will come find me
No one that hates me
Knows me
Or loves me
Let me just be alone
I hate this place
I hate this life
I hate myself
Maybe one day
I will go to a place like that
... One day.

Gratitude

Many times
A picture speaks a thousand words
This time
Five words are more than enough

Thank you for loving me.

Blind

The sky is so dark
The rain just keeps pouring
Time is moving so slow
Did you see the sun
Did you see the rainbow

Like every bell you hit
No jingles
Just silence
Just quietness
So lonely

I feel so naked
So vulnerable
Where the hell am I
I need to stop breathing
And yet
The only thing I can do is
Keep breathing

Keep Breathing

To Live, or Not To Live.

I choose not to.

Vapourise...

The love I had
Was never lesser than anyone
I was blessed
With the greatest love
From my family
Friends
And him

I am but a cruel shell with a beautiful heart
My body will soon be destroyed
But my soul will always be with the ones I love dearly
That I keep to my heart the closest everyday

I am not afraid to die
But I don't want the ones I love dearly
To know that I am leaving
Because I know this pain will hurt them
Worse than piercing swords

If there is one last thing I want to do it right
I want them to live happy and remember the good times
For they are my angels that protected me for so long
All I ask for is their lifetime happiness
I want to die making this world happy
At least it will be a good thing...

Existence

Like the wind
We soar through the sky
Like the cloud
They overwhelm the sun
Like the rain
She cries an ocean
Like the sun
He shines again
Like the tree
The will stands steadily
Like the river
Memories flow swiftly
Like the sky
The heart broadens

Unlike any of them;
I am nothing.

His Name Is...

He is the wind in the aspen trees
He is the roar of the rolling sea
He is the call of a mighty bird
He is the voice of a spoken word
His name is like music
Can't you hear his song
His name is like music
And my voice lives on
And I sing wherever I go
If you will listen,then you'll know
His name is like music
He is my song
He is a hush of a gentle rain
He is the tap on a window pane
He is the calm of a lullaby
He is a sound of a mother's sigh
His name is like music
Can't you hear his song
His name is like music
And my voice lives on
I will sing wherever I go
If you will listen,then you'll know
His name is my strength
...You are my song

Vision.

Hour Glass

When the chains of chains starts to move
Each layer gets thicker
The blade spins and spins
Revolving around what they call "cycle"
When sand sinks like a ticking clock
Layers seem to peel
And one might just disappear

I might just have lost my voice.

Break time!

Beautiful

对不起，我爱你

....

害怕

忘
我没有很努力要自己去遗忘
那些和日记一起收藏的过往
孤单在思绪之中变得很漫长
想
我没有很刻意让自己不去想
那些和照片静止的模样
我学着坚强
坚强到不用学着不想
学着遗忘
还是害怕夜深人静时总想起你
还是害怕的不经意听见你的消息
然而当爱已经沉淀得太清晰
当拥有已经是失去
就勇敢的放弃
还是害怕一个人时就很难忘记
还是害怕突然宁愿当初没有决定
然而当爱最后的出口是分离
我会这么相信
走下去
还是害怕夜深人静时总想起你
还是害怕的不经意听见你的消息
然而当爱已经沉淀得太清晰
当拥有已经是失去
就勇敢的放弃
还是害怕一个人时就很难忘记
还是害怕突然宁愿当初没有决定
然而当爱最后的出口是分离
我会这么相信
走下去
忘
我没有很努力要自己去遗忘
遗忘

Thousand apologies.

Through my eyes
I felt the lights dimmed
Through my ears
I see the voices masked behind walls
Through my skin
I hear the temperature whisky away
As though time fell into a dark hole
Just as the star overwhelmed by the overcrowding darkness
Just as my heart swallowed itself

Like a major chord descending its steps to the minor
Like a flight of stairs when you missed one
Like a humanoid so perfect but without a soul

I am sorry I masked the voices behind walls
I am sorry I have overwhelmed the stars with darkness
I am sorry I have made you missed a step from the stairs

Though you have already forgiven
It is still in me to say this to you

I'm sorry.

Clean White Love

I left the keys in the car
I left the door ajar
I didn't want to be alone

These are the days and the nights
of these sweet humbling heights
and I know it used to be home

Whisk me away
i'll be yours for a day
in heavenly fields which we roam

A woah ah oh you're my clean white love
A woah ah oh you're too clean white love
What are you doing?
What you doing, what ya doing to me?
What are you doing to my head?

A woah ah oh you're my clean white love
A woah ah oh you're too clean white love.
I give my heart on the evening of June 25th
Oh, everybody's looking for a fix

Hey...

Sell me a sign
I'll cut the telephone line
Just to keep the quotations alive

Oh you're bleeding me dry
but the feeling is blind
and I know you're looking divine.

Sell me it straight
Oh, it might be too late
Keep on breaking the rules

Oh...
A woah ah oh you're my clean white love
A woah ah oh you're my clean white love
What are you doing?
What you doing, what ya doing to me?
What are you doing to my head?

A woah ah oh you're my clean white love
A woah ah oh you're too clean white love.
I give my heart on the evening of June 25th
Oh, everybody's looking for a fix

Oh.... Oh a oh....

And this love is diseased
there's a cure
I need that medicine
to get to the core

Remember this place
It's left to the fates
but it's kind to be cruel

Oh...
A woah ah oh you're my clean white love
A woah ah oh you're my clean white love
What are you doing?
What you doing, what ya doing to me?
What are you doing to my head?

A woah ah oh you're my clean white love
A woah ah oh you're too clean white love.
What are you doing?
What you doing, what ya doing to me?
What are you doing to my head?

A woah ah oh you're my clean white love
A woah ah oh you're too clean white love.
What are you doing?
What you doing, what ya doing to me?
What are you doing to my head?

In my heart on the evening of June 25th
Oh, everybody's looking for a fix

Ohhh... ah ohhh......

Here I Am

When I Need You

For Good

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you


Because I knew you


I have been changed for good


And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for


But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share


And none of it seems to matter anymore


Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood


Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood


Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better


And because I knew you...


Because I knew you...


Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...

Rubber Band

Sometimes
I feel that we are so different
Like we belong to two different worlds....

Where

On this half lit day
With your crown beneath your wing
Every word just echoes
And the empty world sings

Where have you gone my feather light heart?
I never imagined I could leave.

In the glistening
Of the lost and open sky
Tiny piece of you sits
Simple wish waits for reply

Where have you gone my feather light heart?
You mustn't forget what love can see.

Eyes on Me

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me

Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I want to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper

How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
did you ever know
That I had mine on you

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if your're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the looks and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer.

Cold Turkey Effect

Don't think you're going to see it
But just needed to voice out
I am missing you like crazy
I am zoning out every other time thinking about you
I am possessed by the memories we had together
Every single minute kills
The insanity overwhelming
Sanity taking control
My mind's clogged up
Just like an addict undergoing cold turkey
That is how bad it is


Day 1
Signing out,

Still breathing.

Unknown

I See You

I see you
Walking through a dream
I see you
My light in darkness breathing hope of new life
Now I live through you and you through me
Enchanting
I pray in my heart that this dream never ends
I see me through your eyes
Living through life flying high
Your life shines the way into paradise
So I offer my life as a sacrifice
I live through your love
You teach me how to see
All that’s beautiful
My senses touch your word I never pictured
Now I give my hope to you
I surrender
I pray in my heart that this world never ends
I see me through your eyes
Living through life flying high
Your love shines the way into paradise
So I offer my life
I offer my love, for you
When my heart was never open
And my spirit never free
To the world that you have shown me
But my eyes could not division
All the colours of love and of life
Evermore

Complaint letter dedicated to the beloved DR. CHRISTOPHER CHONG of Singhealth Polyclinic...AWESOME.

It is with utmost regret that I have had to resort to such a measure to bring to light the unprofessional conduct of one of your doctors, Christopher Chong (Room 14, Pasir Ris Polyclinic).

I have tolerated his uncouth behaviour everytime I was attended to by him but I have no choice but to send this letter of complaint after the last visit.

I have had to endure excruciating pain in my left heel region to make the trip down to the polyclinic for medication as well as medical leave. However, when I was attended to by Dr Chong, I was made to seem like a fraud and was incredibly appalled at his dismissive attitude towards my injury. The moment I mentioned by complaint of pain in my left heel, he dismissed it, saying, "You wouldn't have made it to the clinic if it was THAT painful."

This encounter with his bitchy and dismissive attitude was certainly not an isolated incident as previous encounters with him were largely similar.

I refrained from retorting as I was already in so much pain and had no energy to deal with such nonsense.

If I had my way, I would have mentioned the very glaring flaw he had which made me doubt his professionalism in his job as a doctor. It would not have taken a genius to figure out that he wasn't exactly adhering to HPB's guidelines for healthy BMI.

I hope that your good company would put more effort into screening the types of doctors you place in your polyclinics as they are, after all, the first echelon of the medical institutional hierarchy. Having such uncouth and unservice-oriented staff would taint your otherwise good reputation as a healthcare provider.

I look forward to your favourable response.

Warmest regards,
Raymond Wong.

"When will you be home?" she asks
As we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
And yet she says to me

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
SIlver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

可惜不是你

這一刻　突然覺得好熟悉
像昨天　今天同時在放映
我這句語氣　原來好像你
不就是我們愛過的證據

差一點　騙了自己騙了你
愛與被愛不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一種運氣
但我無法完全交出自己

努力為你改變
卻變不了　預留的伏線
以為在你身邊　那也算永遠

彷彿還是昨天
可是昨天　己非常遙遠
但閉上我雙眼　我還看得見

可惜不是你　陪我到最後
曾一起走　卻走失那路口
感謝那是你　牽過我的手
還能感受那溫柔

那一段　我們曾心貼著心
我想我更有權利關心你
可能你　已走進別人風景
多希望　也有　星光的投影

Requiem Aeternam

Grant them eternal rest, O Lord,

And may light eternal shine upon them.

It is fitting that a hymn should be raised unto Thee in Sion

And a vow paid to Thee in Jerusalem:

Give ear to my prayer, O Lord,

Unto Thee all flesh shall come at last.

Lord, have mercy!

Christ, have mercy!

Lord, have mercy!

Two Face.

Water
Always so weak
So fragile
Shows no masculinity
It sews through obstacles
Manipulating itself against danger
Puts off fire
Creates a storm that can kill everything

Such beautiful element
So elegant
Yet so deadly
So heartless

Love her
Hate him.

Dedication to myself

I am struggling
But no one knows
People think I am always joyous
But I am not
I hate being happy when I am not
I hate cheering people up
Being there for them
Letting them know
I am there for them
When I am sad and unstable myself
No one knows how I feel
I chose to be happy for the obvious
Doesn't mean I am happy

One

When, I saw you for the first time
I knew you were the one.
You didn't say a word to me.
But love, was in the air.

Then you held my hand
Pulled me into your world
From then on my life
Has changed for me

Now I'll never feel lonely again
Cause you are in my life...

Love...
How can I explain to you
The way I feel inside when I think of you..
I thank you for everything that you showed me.
Don't you ever forget that I love you.

Love, I know that someday real soon
You'll be right next to me.
Holding me so tight.
So I will always be yours.
Although we can't be together now.
Remember I am here for you.

And I know you're there for me.
Whenever I long to be with you
I just close my eyes and pretend you're here
I see you, I touch you, I feel you, like real

Nothing can ever change what I feel inside.

How long must I be far away from you?
I don't know dear, but I know we are One...

Why by Ayaka

The haze beyond your eyes cloud my sight
Are there feelings lying at the bottom of your heart?

Even if the whole world was yours
Would that bring you happiness?

Why do you look up at the lonesome sky?
Why, let's see you smile
I know what you're like
How you aren't good at putting things into words, so why not...

What happened in days long past?
In your eyes, as turn you gaze away from me

Do you know of such warmth
One that can embrace you on those lonely nights by yourself

Why are you so worked up on appearances
Why, open up your heart
I know you've had a heavy cross to bear
But I've got the strength to accept you
So why not try believing in me

The free are awkward...
The free are anxious...

Why do you look up at the lonesome sky
Why, let's see you smile
I know what you're like
How you aren't good at putting thing into words
So why not try believing in me

Adopt a pet, save a life

Vapour

I am so tired
So, so tired
It feels like one
Standing on
An ocean of razor ice
Forcing me to walk
But nowhere am I headed to
So cold
So alone
It felt llke
Me drying up.

You found me when I wasn't looking

It's 0130.

My room is cold and Junior is happily sleeping.

Thinking of you makes me miss you.

Missing you turns the like to love.

Loving you.... still getting there.

Growing in me everyday.

Falling in love?

Definitely

But taking pace.

Love is beautiful.

We are learning to embrace it.

And for that

I am happy I have met you.




I want to make you smile

As much as you want to make me happy

Walk out the door

Take a deep breath

For you know

We breath the same air

See the same sky

I learn to feel you with me

Close my eyes

And look into yours

I smiled.

Best break up letter ever!

Dear Y,

I'm writing you this email because I think our relationship has run its course. Do you realize that you're a total loser? You've changed too much since we met, and I don't like it. I can't believe how selfish you are. Relationships are supposed to be about sharing, jerk. Your arrogance seems to have no limits; it's as if you think you're actually somebody. I know you'll probably tell everyone that you dumped me, because you're a liar. But everyone knows that already, so they won't believe you. You couldn't even pass your exams without cheating; I should have known you'd cheat on me too, asshole. I called the nursery school program, and they agreed to let you in after they assessed your maturity level. It might be hard for you to believe, but one thing I can tell you for sure: you really need to work on your skills in bed. I mean, you're just plain bad at sex. You know, a little respect can go a long way. But the amount of respect you give me is only enough for ME to go a long way. A long way away from you, douchebag. And another thing: take a freakin shower! You smell so bad that the garbage collectors wonder what the smell is when they come down the street. Maybe part of the problem is that you drink so much. You can't actually call gin-flakes or beerios breakfast. I'm fed up with kissing an ashtray and seeing you waste your money on cancer sticks every day. It's disgusting. Doing drugs so much really got in the way of more important things. You need to clean yourself up. Why do you have to be so messy? How hard is it to put your dirty underwear in the laundry machine and wash a few dishes now and again? Frankly, you just don't care enough about me. Luckily I care enough about me to make up for it, by saying goodbye to you. The fact that you forgot our anniversary just confirms that it's time for "we" to become "me." Here's some food for thought: you're an asshole! It's not easy to carry on a successful relationship with someone like you. And by that, I mean someone who is downright stupid, you feebleminded dimwit. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to point out that you're pure evil, a characteristic that most people do NOT appreciate. You might want to work on that. I also really need more space, I don't like feeling like an elephant in a telephone booth. I hope you understand. I don't know how to break it to you, but I found someone else to replace you. You know what they say: out with the old, in with the new! The wise Righteous Brothers wrote a song called "You've lost that lovin' feeling." You might want to listen to it a few times, because I've lost that loving feeling. I don't really do the whole long distance relationship thing. New area code, new market, and it's time for me to go shopping.

Some people get very little money out of their job. Some people get dumped. Joy of joys, you get both. Why do you spend so little money on me? Buying me a happy meal at McDonald's does not count as taking me out to dinner. If you ever get engaged, just remember that an onion ring is not a valid replacement for a wedding ring. You're like cling wrap around me, but what you need to realize is that I am not a vegetable and your clinginess is unbearable. Sometimes you need to take things a bit slower, and just have fun. Unfortunately, this relationship is becoming too serious for my tastes. And as if that wasn't enough, you have to criticize me all the time! Now it's my turn to be the critic. I give you one thumb up: stick it up your ass! All that nagging of yours worked, assuming your intent was to get rid of me. At first I couldn't understand what smelled so bad when I spent time with you, but now it's clear: you're spoiled like a piece of meat left out in the sun. You don't live in a soap opera, so quit causing so much drama. I'm not a puppet, you can't just control me by pulling on a string, so why do you try to control everything I do? I need my freedom, and there's nothing you can do about it. Another problem is that you're irresponsible, and I just don't want to put up with the consequences of your decisions anymore. What really breaks the deal is your horrible grammar. Srsly d00d, learn 2 rite a sentance!

Even though our relationship is at its end, I hope we can still be friends. It's not you, it's me. Really. You're more like a sibling to me, you know? Give me back my keys, I don't want you coming around here anymore. You may not have realized, but I saw you with him, you fat-fried hamburger-humper! It may be a typical line, but it's true: we just aren't meant for each other. I may love you, but I'm definitely not in love with you. You're gonna have to learn to accept that. Why are you so boring? I've seen rocks that are more interesting than you. I'm not sure whether we can see each other again in the future but, for now at least, I definitely need my own space. I think you get the idea: this relationship is over.

I hope maggots devour your testicles,
X

Stuff We Did.

Listen

Listen to the wind
Listen to the voices
Listen to your heart.

A quiz result of myself, partially true

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.


The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.


Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.


The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.


Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.


The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.


How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.


What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.


Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Mesaage for you; always loved

This day
We have decided to walk
Our own individual paths
You have always been
So beautiful
So tolerant
So charming
How you dazzled me
How you touched me
How you loved me
With no boundaries
The kneeling down by the garden
Surprising me by my doorstep
The hundred roses
Although we can't be one
But I want you to know
That I have never love you any lesser
Than how much you loved me
Give me the strength
To see you grow beautifully
As I will to
At least we both know
That we have loved each other
So deeply
So truthfully
So wholeheartedly
And I want you to know that
That no one had ever
Loved me like you did
All and all
I want you
To remember me this way



You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks m heart
To know you'll be so far apart
I love you
Too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Home

Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me

Standing.

It's easier for you to walk away, than it is for you to reach out to me.
It's easier for you to look away, than it is for you to see the depth of my despair.
It's easier for you to look through me, than it is for you to see "me".
It's easier for you to hear, than it is for you to listen.
It's easier for you to judge, than it is for you to understand.
It's easier for you to label, than it is to get acquainted.
It's easier for you to bask in your joy, than it is for you to feel my pain.
It's easier for you to bewilder at my mysteries, than it is for you to probe deeply into the depths of my soul.


It's easier for me to look away, than it is to let you see the feelings betrayed through my eyes.
It's easier for me to cry, than it is for me to talk.
It's easier for me to walk alone, than it is to risk rejection.
It's easier for me to push you away, than it is for me to be held.
It's easier for me to distance myself, than it is to trust that you won't hurt me.


It's hard for me to smile when I am hurting.
It's hard for me to talk when you won't understand.


If only you'd really look at me and see who I am.
If only you'd hold me, without asking why.
If only you'd acknowledge the presence of the love.


But it's the easy roads that are most often taken.
And so I am left standing.

Time; You are for Me

Looking up into the sky
I know we share the same moon
Looking at the busy city
I know we stand on the same ground
Cold winter
Freezing
Yet so warm and fulfilling
It was then
The most fortunate coincidence
Like how you said
-It is magic-

Time brought us together
Also did it separate us
Two lands faraway
Yet bonded by love

Think of me
For you know
I will also miss you

Just a simple kiss
On the first night
Just that simple hug
We fell asleep upon
Just the simple love
That I know
You are for Me

Once Upon A Dream That Came True

How long can one lane be
How far can one flock of stairs take
How high can a tower go
To reach
To see
To feel
To acknowledge
Tell me what is in your mind
Tell me if I am in your heart
Holding you so tightly each time I see you
So tight my heart aches
The solemn twitch
Walking like an angel without his wings
Would I have been redefined
Do you see this
Would you see this
I looked into your beautiful eyes
I found truth inside you
But have you look me into the eyes
And tell me
You found yourself within me

Fearful tears relieved
Telling you
I am falling for you,
Unto your arms,
Into your embrace

I have fallen
Into your love

So Beautiful

Marriage

Always felt this video is very touching (=

...

I'm officially down again....

Neither Nor

Sometimes
I feel that when I'm down
When I really needed you
Physically, Desperately
Sometimes I feel
You're not sensitive to understand where I'm coming from
Sometimes
Its not about understanding the problem
Its to understand that someone is not feeling good
And be there for him or her physically
I should be left alone for a while.

Dream

Remember the times
When we sat on swings
The higher we swing
The closer we get to our dreams
Only to realise
We are merely reaching to the trees
That little innocence
Reminiscences every single soul
All of us
Getting ready to fly
Walking through these long paths
Looking back
We are still climbing
Who to say
We are no longer kids
The innocence we had
The love we shared
All ready to fly
Getting ready
For that beautiful beginning

如燕

愿意合上眼才能美夢無邊
別讓悔熏烏了從前

也許碎片才能讓回憶展顏
何妨瓷花拼湊明天

誰帶我尋獲幸福的模
卻自己謎中困鎖

誰為我留下繾綣的天涯
信物是抹晚霞

思念如燕它飛舞舌尖
若是真愛配嘗幾分苦甜

意念婆娑時間里推磨
追隨到何處才結果

燕如針線在青空縫編
幾幅女紅將以淚綴點

誓言斑駁情霧只是經過
風雨中且讓我盈步婀娜

Nothing much
Nothing less
Just a simple
I Love You.

The Call

To all my friends and especially Kenny
Though he already knew this song
Never the less, this is song expresses every single to those i treasure and care the most.
To love and never be forgotten

Holding On To You

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly

There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

.

Stupid.

Love

Just that simple love
Brought us so far
Always along with us
You and I

Faith

we will be able to pull through this
If we are meant to be together










We have to
I have to...

That Road

Along these many paths we took
Along with those memories
Will they one day
Be forgotten
Will that nightmare blind me
Or bring me to the very truth
Fate
Brought us together
Will it break us apart
Should I take a step forward
Or brave myself into that assumption
Walking on this very road
What is next
What will come
I hear many cries in me
What are they
Who are they
Or are they just
...Me
That very day when I chose that path
Did I regret it a little
That sorrow in me
Has once again
Taken me over
What could be right
What should be true
I'd rather live
On a lonely shell
That speaks
Of no truth
Of no lie
Of dismiss
Of no tie
But just
That very fact
I am alone

To The Anonymous

What is black and white
What was right and wrong
Why was I
Why should I
Why do I
When those unnecessary invades
When those shakes break out
Where should I go
Where should I hide
I am but
Too tired to confront
Too tired to resolve
Just let me breakaway from these
For I will return you your freedom
This
All these
Never I asked for
Should leave me alone

A Moment Like This

The love we share
Standing naked in front of us
In a lifetime to come
People wait
I always say
I have you
What is there to yearn
Every event
Every incident
Prove us
Our love is strong
That our love is undeniable
Looking at the beautiful you
Always remember
I love you
When I look at you
When I whisper to you
When this love have been decided
Since the day of births
Come to me
Let me embrace you
Because you have protected me
And because you are always here for me
I will become
Your once in a lifetime
And in eternity to come

Him

"Like a plant
We all need some space
The space to grow
The space to flower
The space to fruit
Though I know plants grow better
When they are together
You can't put them so close to each other
They are beautiful as themselves
Put them together and they look even better as a pair
But each still needs its space
Because they are still themselves
Lovely, beautiful plants
I want you to grow
I want you to flower
I want you to fruit
Because
You're my lovely, beautiful Raymond."


From him
The true love I ever found

Life In Me

I found hope
I found faith
Found truelove
You made it easy
You made it free
Its a secret
One day's heaven
Sometimes hell
Sometimes even angels fall
But that is the way it's suppose to be
For you found hope
You found faith
I made it easy
I made it free
Found truelove
You and I

Moody, hate it

The sky
The rain
The street
I see people walking along
Passing by me
Many of them
But none that I recognise
Strangers I see
Standing alone on the street
Rain fell onto me
The light seemed far away
The least visible
Drops I hear
Every tattering bit
No sun
No moon
Was it me whom lurched myself
Or the heart that left me lurched

Worn Out

I'm tired.

Fear

When you first saw me
I was cold and pricked
But you always looked at me
The love you gave to me
Troubled as I am
I am scared
I am afraid
That you will leave me
Some day
One day
I cried
I cry
I feel alone
I feel helpless
How can I let you know
I am more than the smile and laughter you see each day
Everyday I see you
I treasure them
Though my heart cries a few
I want to be happy around you
At time
I would think inside me
Maybe to see you less
May I feel more at ease
No it doesn't feel any better
Not seeing you
Shall I be the one for you
I am hereby
Overwhelmed by fear

Bond

Your love
Impacted so much on me
Your deeds
Charged me with all
Never let me go
You promised
My heart teared
This drop I gave
Promise I made upon
Never will I desert you
For I fall myself
Into your gentle arms
Telling me
How you thank God for me
I look into you
And you say to me
Beautiful are my eyes
Here I am
Standing to you
Giving you
The brightest smile
The loudest cry
The laughable
The untouchable
Nothing much
Nothing less
Just the simple
Just the genuine me

Smiling to you
Gives me happiness
Whining to you
Gives me security
Laughing to you
Gives me warmth
Crying to you
Gives me comfort
You are
For who you are
For whom I love
For who we are
For we are one

My Surprise

At times people believe
Mystical happens alongside them
Showing them the everything they thought were myths
So much so what they expect
I have a better
I have Kenny by my doorstep
Surprise he got to me
Loved

The Wait

When I saw the skies are blue
The ocean green
The white winged flew above
I hear the wind
They say to me
Its okay, be strong
I see the clouds
They showed me my memories
I feel the Sun
He gave me warmth
I am just right here
With all I have
Waiting for your return
Back from where you took off
I never left
Just right here
At this very same place we knew each other
The love you gave me
The one you loved so much
Your beloved
My love
Us

It Is You

The Falls

I get so mesmerized when he smirks! =D

My Morning Is His....

I dreamt of you
And we kissed.

My Darling

He sent me this afternoon, isn't he cute? (=

For Good

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness for what you blame me for...
Well I guess there is blame to share...
And none of it seems to matter anymore
Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun (like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood)
Like a ship blown off it's mooring by a wind off the sea (like a seed dropped by a skybird in the wood)
Who's to say if I've been changed for the better?

Because I knew you,
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good

Miss You

Missing you
Much as the sky's degree
Loves.

Just us

My Journal

Feelings as it started
When the dark clouds moved away
I saw the tree open
The light shone through
Stars fall in the bright sky
Sun shining through the peaceful night
Life of the openness
We promised us
Like you promised me
As our vows held upon thee
The pale clouds
The flying doves
The everyday's you
The always me
The very us

The Thing We Have

Just my knight
Just his beloved
Always his
Always mine

Time

I need the time
I need to know if we are really suitable for each other
I don't want to waste your time
I don't want to use up mine
I don't want to step into something where it might be just an act of a repulse
I don't want you to step into something that might land you into deep blackhole
I don't want to be pressurized by anything
I don't need you to be pressurized
I just need to know
I need to be myself

Bio

My name is Raymond
I am a mix blood
I am a christian
I am 19 this year
I teach music
I major viola
I am currently in the army
I am open about myself being gay
I love caucasians
I want to live in Scotland
I want to die in God's hands
Last but not least
I love Kenny

My Comfort

Spent my time waiting
Thought nothing can come by
Despaired as it was
This man came by
Pulled me out this dark hole
Protected me from the vultures
Embraced with his arms
I saw his face
He was real
I was in the arms of an angel
This angel
Held onto
Loved into
This man
He is my angel

My love for him

Thousands of years
Human lived through their own
A year passed
How did we define
In his land
Trees whisper
Wind talk
That thousands of years have passed us
From the great within he left us
The rebirthed phoenix
The great cat
Sons of Adam
Daughters of Eve
Bestowed with benevolence
Promised us with his faith
We no longer belonged to us
As we are for one
For the great clear sky of heaven's north gate
Angels dancing with the wind
Mermaids flowing with the fishes
Fauns humming the lullaby
All of them
Back onto this mortal land once again
Light came back on us
Clouds
Sun
Ocean
The deep magic
With his son's words
Here we are
Onto this garden was once forbidden
Now
It is forgiven
The love with all embrace
Come back to me
My love ones
Shall I bethroned you
With the greatest glory
The fair
The just
The gentle
The valiant
Most of all
The purity
With these all
I shall have you
All of you back to my arms
Once again
The verdict has been written
Under his witness
Within his heart
For we are all one
One and for all we shall be


::Dedication of Easter::

Legend

In a land of no return
Time was not accepted within
Clouds were beneath step of paths
There once lived a queen
Windefelle
Beautiful as the angel's hymn
Elegant as the water flow
Lived by her gracefulness
The creatures of God's bestow
Angels of north heaven
There I was
In this land where Virgo brought me to
Looking upon the great warmth
I saw Windefelle
Her benevolence got me into peace
Here she came to me
Giving me three promises
"Dimmest and youngest star as he could be, will he be your most faithful guardian that protects you from absolute darkness"
"Heart of fire, though faint yet enough to keep you warm and be loved"
Last but not least
"The 'Meramenoid's Lullaby' I give to you shall protect you from all darklings from within and the faith we both remembered with the promise upon God's witness thousand years ago"
The three promises
Never shall I be disturbed

Lost Soul

It seemed so bright
Yet a little undone
It seemed so right
Yet a little too well perfected
The way it was done
Thou shall not thee
Which route did you show me
Shall I follow upon to thee
Looked upon
I took a step back
You questioned
I wish I knew
You wished I knew
Thought to be stolen
Yet it seemed returned
Thought to be unsatisfied
Yet given upon great satisfactory
Thought to be lost
It is still lost...

Lifespend

Indulgence
Isolation
Words of many
But lost of every
To whom it may concern
To whom it will be
To whom...

Forgiven

Couldn't save you from the start
Love you so it hurts my soul
Can you forgive me for trying again
Your silence makes me hold my breath
Oh, time has passed you by

For so long I've tried to shield you from the world
You couldn't face the freedom on your own
Here I am left in silence

You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven

I watched the clouds drifting away
Still the sun can't warm my face
I know it was destined to go wrong
You were looking for the great escape
To chase your demons away

For so long I've tried to shield you from the world
You couldn't face the freedom on your own
And here I am left in silence

You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven

I've been so lost since you've gone
Why not me before you
Why did fate deceive me
Everything turned out so wrong
Why did you leave me in silence

You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven

:Within Temptation

Comfort

Look into the night sky
What do you see?
I see stars
Glowing dimly
I flew up into the sky
Looking for the brighter regions
Where stars shine brighter than anywhere seen on solid earth
The higher I flew
More stars I see
Like a blanket full of holes
Covering the white sky
I felt the resonance of earth’s heartbeat
I heard the voice from the great beyond
And I saw no one
But only myself
Up in the sky
Standing all by myself
The stars no longer shine
The resonance…
The voice…
Everything…
Gone.


Looking up upon
I ask God
When will you guide me back to your kingdom?
When will you bring me back into your arms?
I seek nothing now
But to stay comfort in your hands…

Emotions- hidden within

Snow fell upon me
I knew you wouldn’t come back to me
Wind talked to me
She told me not to give up
I looked at the sky and said
I’m scared


To see of what I see not
To seek for what I seek not
To love for whom I love so
To wait upon whom he will never come back
Faith
Believe
Distraction
Destruction
Saint
Devil
Alone am I
Take me into the dark
Take
Took
Taken…

Seek

What are we? Where are you? Who am I?
Why were we? Where were you? Who was I?
Where am I? Who are you? … What am I?

I see the sky in bloom.
I see the clouds imitating.
I feel the sunlight entering me.
I feel the moonlight embracing me.
I hear the wind playing mischievously.
I hear the air whispering to me.
But I don’t see you…
But I don’t feel you…
But I don’t hear you…

Walking alone in the desert red snow
I see no one
Stepping onto the earthly ground
Filling the air with noises
While the silence is slowly killing me
Who am I seeking?
Who am I looking for?
Who should I seek?
Who should I look for?
Where will I start?
Where will you be?

Time

Your face
I kept it inside my eyes
Your voice
I kept inside my ears
Your smell
I kept it under my nose
Your loved
I kept it inside me
One day if I die
I bring along your everything
I will bring it to heaven
And tell God
He is the man I love
The only I had and will only be him
Now and forever…

Freedom

If the sky was ever blue like the ocean
Where will you be?
If the stars were ever bright as the sun
Where will I get to see you?
If your existence meant my life
Where will I be?
The heart you see in me
What did I see?
The awoken memories...
Fragmented
When was the last time when I see the skies are blue and grasses are green?
When was the last time when I see you in my heart?
Forever seemed far to an end of a rainbow from the other
But it seemed ever nearer to hearts that speak of love
Frightened yet happy
Afraid yet impatient
Paranoid yet anxious
How are you?
I was fine....

Distant Promise

Thus the curtain closes on
Another tale an eternity has passed..
Fleeting dreams fade into distance...
All that I left now,
Is me and my memories...


But I'm sure we will meet again..
Someday, you and I...
Another place, another time.

It's just that we might not realize
That you are you, and I am me...


Let us open the door to the great unknown,
Come across another reality...
And live another today...
Even when the story has been told,
Life goes on...

Until we meet again,
Take care of yourself, my love

Forever yours,


Raymond

Question? Or Answer?

If you asked
I'd been there
If you had never tell me anything
I would never know anything
Space I give you more
You abused me more
Certainty of expectations
What do you think I am
I am not even what I am to be myself
And I have to learn to be you
The stars I see
Fell upon skies of universe
The sunshine I feel
Fell into deep dark ends
Trying so hard
Falling so high
As if I did nothing
Five senses
Broken
Emotions
Abandoned
To be a question of an answer
Or an answer to a question
Remaining in silence
Stay
For the sake of being
Cold

What do I do

The sky is clear today, very clear
But why do I feel the emptiness filling up in me?
Why would the sky be clear today?
A strange feeling called upon me....
What do I do
I just felt, sad
I am feeling abandoned...
Why do people coe and go?
Why do people that I loved have to leave
Why can't I have more answers than questions?
I am but living in a world of stupidity
To whom may it seem bright
I see nothing but the emptiness out of me
To whom may it seem so strong
I see myself so weak, so fragile
What happen to me?
Why did it fall upon me?
The sky is so clear today
I don't want to be alone
I'm, afraid
I am scared of being alone
To be controlled by that over whelming darkness
I beg not
I don't want fear
I never wanted
What do I see?
What will I seek?
I don't see my future in myself
I don't myself in me, anymore
What have become of me?
What turned me
What did I turn myself into?
A person that fear upon himself
Eventually causing it to take him up
Bit by bit
Leaving him nothing but, again
The emptiness
What will I turn into?
The sky is so blue
My heart
I don't feel rhythm
I don't see colours
I don't hear voices
I lost nothing but myself
The sin
The deed
The saint
The devil
Nothing is all
But the emptiness that starts the world with
Seek of what I never know can come to
Should I continue to hold on to this faith?
Or should I believe in you
I am confused
Contradicting fear I say
Show me what's to and not
Love me...